One Liners–pg.1

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

Pleas turn your screen upside down now!!! Hurry
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?

This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you're too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it. Thank you

Why'd they call it PMS? Cos Mad cow disease was already taken!

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da Body....sh*t...I got wrong number...SORRY :)

Nope.....u still ugly!

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.

It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With a hunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. 17 times.

Born Free........Taxed to Death.

I remind u that the most powerful force in the universe is Facebook gossip.

Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.

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