Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
"Man who fart in church must sit in own pew"
"Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"
"Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly"
"Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone"
"Man who stand in front of car get tired."
"Man who stand behind car get exhausted."
"Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day"
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
"Man who buy many prunes get good run for money"
"Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk"
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth"
"War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse"
"It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it"
"Man who drive like hell bound to get there"
"Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs"
"Man who masturbate into cash register soon come into money"
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time"
"Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam"
"Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot"
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
Pleas turn your screen upside down now!!! Hurry
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?
This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you're too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it. Thank you
Why'd they call it PMS? Cos Mad cow disease was already taken!
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da Body....sh*t...I got wrong number...SORRY :)
Nope.....u still ugly!
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With a hunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. 17 times.
Born Free........Taxed to Death.
I remind u that the most powerful force in the universe is Facebook gossip.
Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.